The Deterioration of a Feminist?

“The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield.” – Tina Fey

Little Riddles started school this week. Which brings up a lot of different emotions. Want to hear the wheel of competing voices in my head?

First day of daycare! It’s a milestone! … Oh, I will miss being with Riddles all the time. I mean, I miss him when he goes to sleep and he’s still in the house … but I am very excited about my work. I am a smart and resourceful employee. It’s good that I am still working … but am I putting Riddles second because I have vocation both in and outside of the home? *guilt* … but while I love to be with Riddles all the time, I know he will benefit from a childcare professional teaching him things. I don’t know anything about childhood development. The fact that I know so little about childhood development makes me feel like it was irresponsible for me to get pregnant in the first place … Does Riddles deserve a mother who knows more about babies? *more guilt* … Well, I may not know a lot about babies, but I am good at my new job … should I even have a job? …

A man would never write this blog post, and that makes me cranky. *feminist anger*

I would get all feminist on you here, but the fact that I quit my corporate job and Husbanks has to hand me a monthly “spending money” check for the next three years takes away a lot of that clout.

Oh, but wait.

Husbanks doesn’t hand me a check because I’m a woman, he hands me a check because as my partner he agreed to support me while I take on a new challenge. And I would do the same for him.

Look at that, I still got all feminist on you. Huh.

Thanks, Husbanks. I love you. Thanks for helping me to be me. Even when “me” is all those competing voices, tap dancing over a minefield.

At school, Riddles was assigned to Katelyn’s old crib. A good omen.

  1. #1 by Lacy on May 11, 2011 - 2:08 pm

    You make me laugh. Rid looks like he’s ready for anything.

  2. #2 by Husbanks on May 11, 2011 - 2:31 pm

    No prob, Bob. You are my favorite feminist by far. Ms. Fey has nothing on you.

    I miss Ridley too. I wonder what he’s up to right now???

  3. #3 by Morgan on May 11, 2011 - 3:43 pm

    haha. i am excited for your job. he looks excited about his spot too. that crib will have a legacy.

  4. #4 by tarathronson on May 11, 2011 - 4:30 pm

    He looks so cute and happy in his crib! I struggle with this all the time too…like will he look back and be disappointed in me? But then I think a) I’m a better working mom than stay-at-home mom, and b) I hope I am doing things and learning things by working that I can then pass on to him. I just try to be as present in the moment with Elias the times we do have together. Dishes / laundry can all wait until after he is in bed…evening time is eat and play time!

  5. #5 by Camdiggity on May 13, 2011 - 6:38 pm

    Dear Hilary,
    I really like your blog.


  6. #6 by Lauren on May 15, 2011 - 9:27 pm

    A good omen, indeed. Welcome to the Magic Dragon School, Riddles. We can’t wait to see you around!

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