Thirty Is the New Thirty

Today, I turn thirty.

In a cabin on Lake Tahoe with close friends, thirty-weeks pregnant, I embrace adulthood.

I’m not young anymore. I have made mistakes and people have hurt me. I have embarrassed myself after one-too-many glasses of Pinot.

I have also made good decisions based on those mistakes and people have been kind to me. I am confident. I appreciate little things like knowing how to do my makeup.

At thirty, I appreciate new perspectives, but respect those who are older than me. I look for reasoning and empathy, not stereotypes.

I understand that there will always be a hole in my life since I lost my father, and that hole is part of who I am. In a way, it honors him and I have stopped fighting it.

I’m finally at peace with the assurance that God is a journey. A warm, tremendous journey. You never stop figuring it out. And you shouldn’t trust people who say they have.

I want to keep challenging myself. I want to remain dedicated to Christian service, musical expression, faith dialogue, and my career after I have a baby. These are parts of who I am and I hope it makes me a sharp and interesting mother for this little person learning about the world.

I don’t want to go back to my twenties. I got married early – when I didn’t know who I was, and luckily I married someone who has allowed me to emerge. I think he may like me more now, even if I am no longer blonde, tan, or effortlessly thin.

I am done trying to be someone I am not. I finally know who I am while I am still young enough to appreciate her. It took me thirty years to get here.

To all my friends in their thirties: this post is for you. To all my friends in their twenties: don’t fear your next birthdays. They are a good thing.

Congrats on turning thirty, me. Welcome to the Jesus Years. Enjoy your vacation.

Advertisements
  1. #1 by Trisha on September 3, 2010 - 11:18 am

    Happy birthday and welcome to the decade – it is a great one and I am glad you are embracing it!

  2. #2 by Suz on September 3, 2010 - 5:05 pm

    Happy Birthday Lady! And welcome to the 30’s club:) I am nerdily enjoying that you are 30 weeks pregnant as you turn 30 years old.
    You’re a wonderful person and will enjoy this decade!

  3. #3 by Ingrid on September 6, 2010 - 9:57 am

    Happy Birthday! I am so glad to have met you and been able to read your blog (which many times has brought me to tears, but in a good way). Embracing 30 is the best! Wishing you a happy weekend and wonderful 30th year!

  4. #4 by Erin Young on September 6, 2010 - 10:33 am

    I agree with Ingrid about the tears. Happy birthday, Hil!

  5. #5 by BOBBI KAYE on September 6, 2010 - 7:35 pm

    the Jesus years. oh hil only you would think of that. loved you in your 20’s and love you in the divinity of just what is, right now!!

  6. #6 by mirelesminute on September 7, 2010 - 10:36 pm

    Yeah for our 30s. It really is much better than the 20s.

  7. #7 by Rachel Austin on September 8, 2010 - 12:40 pm

    Happy Birthday Hil! I’m so glad I know you and wished we still worked together. Yay for 30!

  8. #8 by Beth on September 9, 2010 - 4:02 pm

    What a lovely post! Happy birthday, Hil!

  9. #9 by Misty on September 14, 2010 - 7:45 pm

    I think you’re wonderful just the way you are. 30 isn’t so bad, embrace the laugh lines! They make us look wise.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: