I went to the pet store this weekend. When I arrived, the pet-store Santa was standing out front having a smoke break. He removed his white gloves and moved his beard out of the way of his mouth.
Leanne saw him too, and since he removed his beard, you could see that he was about 20 years old. Not very Santa-like.
I don’t care if this guy smokes – Lord knows I do lots of unhealthy things (like eat an entire box of Kraft Mac and Cheese when I have a bad day. That’s not healthy or organic. Sorry John Mackey.) But I was bothered by the fact that Santa was being a person out in front of the store. Kind of like when you were a kid and you ran into your teachers at the mall – it was weird!
So listen up, Retail Santa – here is Hil Street’s list of things I don’t want to see you do …
1. Climb into your Camaro with a “Yield to the Princess” bumper sticker after your shift at Macy’s
2. Rub your still-tender new tattoo of Ty Pennington
3. Listen to Manheim Steamroller
4. Use a pick up line at a bar: “I see you when you are sleeping, and I know you don’t wear anything to bed. Ow!”
5. Eat an entire box of Kraft Mac and Cheese