Dear Screen Writers Guild,
I hear you are going on strike Monday! While you are unemployed, I want to offer up my blog if you are interested in doing some freelance writing whilst you strike.
If you choose to work for Hil Street, you can add “blog writing” to your resume, right after “head writer for Heroes.” This temp job will broaden your horizon.
I can only pay you with the valuable experience previously mentioned.
Applicants should have working knowledge of border collies, religion, grillz and “X-rated pumpkins” (apparently).
Applicants must be able to write copy that will appeal to my most faithful audiences in Texas, Oklahoma, Arizona, Washington State and Kentucky.
I am currently taking applications.